Our Leader
by Pixel20
Summary: Karkat's perspective. A look into the immediate aftermath of destroying the Black King's scepter and the aftermath of Aradia hiding the trolls in the Veil.
1. Chapter 1

You lay your head down on the cold, metal floor. It's not very comfortable, but you simply do not have it in you to care at the moment. You let out an exhausted sigh, a very fitting punctuation to the chaotic, confusing day.

Upon reflection, you cannot believe all that has happened today. You've long since abandoned trying to wrestle with the logic of whether "today" is a term that means anything in the Incipisphere. With no blazing sun or rising of the moons, only sleep put a divide between consciousness. Even then, players found themselves conscious still in their dreams, continuing to work and plot and fight. No rest even for the sleeping. Not that you caught any sleep anyway.

You try to remember everything that happened, attempting to locate some glaring point where it all went wrong.

You cannot seem to find one.

Not one mistake, not one foreboding warning, not one dark cloud over your unstoppable trail to victory.

Recent events are all a blur. Your think pan throbs trying to grasp it all so soon. You are completely fried. You roll over, letting your forehead touch the metal. It sends a chill through your body, but it is the closest thing to comfort.

You just lie there for a moment, getting the most rest you have gotten in hours.

Turns out you can't stand the stillness for that long anyway. You pound your fist on the floor and a frustrated yell escapes you. The sound echoes throughout the lab, but you forego feeling any embarrassment. You made certain that nobody followed you through the transportalizer.

This is pathetic, you think. Pathetic for a so-called leader.

This is incredible. You have done it. You are the leader you have always dreamed to be.

For sweeps, your blood boiled with raging ambition, yearning for something more. You knew you were destined for greatness, just unsure of what that would be.

You always knew it, despite your outcast blood color. Despite the mockery and beatings you received when a neighborhood troll caught a glimpse of your wound.

You covered your societal rank up and kept your head down for sweeps, but when it was time to play this game, you stepped forward as the leader. You assembled your team and leapt head-first into danger. When it became obvious that your opponents were a part of the same session, you united the teams without trepidation. You led the remainder of your race through triumphs and obstacles.

And now you are victorious.

With his scepter destroyed, the Black King reverts to his original, smaller form. He is weak, defenseless, and generally unremarkable. He fell onto your floating lotus, and trembles with fear at the proximity of your fellow players.

The battle is won. It is time to finish him off.

You and your eleven comrades circle around him, but you take an additional step forward. As the team leader, you assumed it to be your responsibility and privilege to deal the killing blow. You take another step, fully expecting one of your more bloodthirsty and aggressive friends to claim the prize of the battle before you can

To your surprise, no one moves.

Instead, they look to you expectantly. From a few you could swear you notice a subtle nod, granting you permission to fulfill your duty and title.

Time seems to freeze as you realize how far you have come together. Your eleven companions, all frustrating and unstable in their own way, have recognized you as their leader in this moment.

After sweeps of ridicule, and weeks littered with insubordination, their actions right now speak louder than any of their words.

Something swells within you. A sensation you have never before felt. Is this what pride feels like? Is this triumph, or accomplishment? Is this bliss?

Or is it simply...friendship?

You can not help but glance over at each of your companions.

Eridan Ampora, the highblood that was never afraid to come to you for advice. As mocked and as much of a loner as you.

Aradia Megido, the unusual and confusing ghost robot. She constantly supplied her knowledge and time-traveling abilities to help you run the team.

Equius Zahhak, the sado-masochist brute. His unspoken acceptance of your authority and worth was the most satisfying of them all.

Tavros Nitram, the kind-hearted adventurer who overcame cowardice. He is one of the most kind-hearted trolls you have ever met, and has never tried to belittle or hurt you.

Feferi Peixes, the humble, former Empress-to-be. She has the most prestigious blood possible, but has never tried to treat you like dirt.

Vriska Serket, one of the most vicious and uncontrollable teammates a troll could have. And while she was a frustrating bitch sometimes, she turned to you as leader and trusted your intuition.

Gamzee Makara, the pacifist with no worries. For an infuriatingly annoying clown, he has wanted to be your friend like no other.

Nepeta Leijon, the enthusiastic and excitable hunter. Her feelings for you have been obvious for sweeps, and she has always been friendly and loyal.

Kanaya Maryam, your smart and sensible frog-breeder. You cannot think of a more reliable and supportive friend in your life.

Sollux Captor, the more successful hacker, warrior, and quadrant-filling magnet. Despite everything, he always understood you and tried to control your tantrums.

And Terezi Pyrope, the frighteningly clever and cutthroat strategist and comrade. Sometimes you found yourself thinking that she is the one who should truly be leader. You envy her cunning and her abilities, as much as you hate to admit it. Your relationship with her has been...complicated.

You snap back to reality, sensing your team's impatience.

You glance at your weapon in hand. Fully alchemized, it wields incredible powers and hardly resembles a sickle anymore. This will not do.

You reequip yourself with a former weapon. The sickle you had combined with the Derse kingdom's own Regisword. Pleasantly simplistic in its design, pure black. Much more fitting for the execution of the Dersite King himself.

You approach the prisoner of war. He continues his shiver. Is it fear, or anger? It does not matter. Your friends look on in anticipation. Their eyes say it all. The bloodthirst at the core of your race shows through.

But in their eyes is something else, too. A sign of change. They have all changed on this journey. Their eyes tell of a sense of triumph and happiness, a sense of acceptance of the team's bond. There was not a single doubt in their minds that you would be the one to seal their fate and bring them to paradise.

You bring the weapon down on the King's shoulder. As overcome as you are, you are not dumb enough to allow for any last-minute mistakes. Instead of giving the fallen monarch one final chance, you swiftly slash your sickle to the side, making a clean cut.

The carapacian's candy red blood, identical to yours, spills out onto the lotus.

To you, for the first time in your life, the sight is almost...beautiful.

Your friends are well aware of your secret by now, and for a moment they contemplate if there is a deeper significance to this color.

The blood pours outward, trickling down the sides of the lotus onto the battlefield below.

It is done. You have succeeded.

The Knight of Blood has performed his final act as a leader and as a hero.

And with your companions by your side, you have never felt happier.


	2. Chapter 2

The air is still for a moment, as if the universe is processing the event. The Dersite monarchy has been disposed of, the frog-breeding has been completed, and all other requirements have been fulfilled.

Deeming this satisfactory, the battlefield begins to glow. Your floating lotus begins to rise, higher and higher away from the ground. It seems you are being transported to your new universe.

Your paradise.

You look around you, and find quite a sight to behold.

Your co-players are rejoicing. Smiles crack through the weariness on their faces as they fail to control the excitement. Feferi and Nepeta are practically bouncing up and down. Gamzee returns to his mellow self, drained from the weird power he just unleashed. Vriska jabs at the air in gloating victory, ecstatic with her impossibly lucky roll of her dice.

Suddenly, you witness something you have never seen before on Alternia. It is a complete flurry of bodies as your friends begin hugging one another. Such embraces are a rare expression of affection amongst trolls, reserved usually for romantic relations. But such formalities are easily forgotten in the heat of the moment. Everyone is so overcome with emotion. This atmosphere of pure joy is completely alien to you.

You are knocked almost off your feet! It is Nepeta, squeezing her arms around you tightly. She's suffocating you, but you don't bother with that. She is saying things in your ear, but you cannot even make the words out. Hard to believe she is so full of energy after that.

After you concede and put your arms around her, she slinks away with a smile. Sollux walks over, adjusting his goofy glasses. With a surprisingly sincere grin, he holds his fist out. You complete the bro bump without hesitation. Acceptance.

Gamzee puts an arm around your shoulder, muttering something incoherent about miracles. You nod, in actual agreement. A miracle indeed.

Feferi gives you a hug as well. At first you are honored to be touched by royalty. Shortly after you realize you don't care about blood color. Shortly after that you realize you don't care about anything aside from the fact that she's your friend. You return the gesture. Eridan and Equius shake your hand, seemingly above more careless expressions of rejoice. The latter's almost crushes your bones, but you let it slide.

Remembering that you have working legs, you decide to spread the joy yourself. That is what a leader does, right? You pat Tavros on the shoulder with pride. He smiles at you. Spotting you, Vriska slaps you on the back a little too strongly. She cackles at your wince. Aradia gazes off in the distance at her hundreds of destroyed clones. A little creeped out by her cold stare, you simply pat her on the shoulder as well. You manage to mutter some sort of vague thank-you.

You spot Kanaya in the crowd, and hop over to her. When she sees you approaching, she smiles. You consider standing there awkwardly, waiting for her to speak, but decide against it. Instead, you simply embrace her. She laughs, and you begin to laugh too. You have never seen her like this. On further thought, she probably hasn't seen YOU like this either. Oh well. She says you did a good job. You say you couldn't of done it without her.

You let go of her, and take a moment to swallow the excitement. You feel strange, like you're bursting with emotion. A lump forms in your squawk blister, and you let out a fake cough to cover up your weird demeanor.

You realize that you are smiling. This is such a rare spectacle from you that you put your palm to your face just to confirm it. There's something else...

You see one last person in the crowd, laughing at you. She slinks towards you.

gC: H3H3H3! 4R3 YOU CRY1NG?

cG: WHAT? NO. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

gC: 1 C4N SM3LL TH3M

gC: YOUR SW33T C4NDY T34RS

cG: SHUT UP. I'M JUST TIRED.

gC: YOU KNOW 1 WOULDNT H4V3 S41D 4NYTH1NG 1F YOU W3R3NT SO 4DOR4BL3 4BOUT 1T

gC: 1TS OK4Y TO CRY

gC: 3V3N 1F 1T M4K3S OUR F34RL3SS L34D3R LOOK L1K3 4 P4TH3T1C W1GGL3R!

cG: CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME ENJOY SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN MY PITIFUL LIFE?

cG: WE WON. DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU AT ALL? WE FINALLY WON.

gC: OF COURS3 1T DO3S!

gC: 4ND TH3 TRUTH 1S

gC: W3 COULDNT OF DON3 1T W1THOUT YOU

cG: DON'T PATRONIZE ME, DAMN IT. JUST LET ME ENJOY THIS FOR A FUCKING MINUTE.

gC: 1M B31NG S3R1OUS

gC: YOU N33D TO R3L4X K4RK4T 3V3RYON3 L1K3S YOU MOR3 TH4N YOU TH1NK!

cG: WHATEVER.

cG: IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW. WE'RE DONE, RIGHT? IT'S TIME TO RULE OVER OUR NEW UNIVERSE WITH AN IRON FIST. AND MAYBE RUN AROUND AND FROLIC AND SHIT?

cG: YOU GUYS DON'T NEED A LEADER ANYMORE.

gC: 1 TH1NK W3 W1LL SOM3D4Y

gC: 4ND YOU D1D 4 PR3TTY GOOD JOB 1F 1 M4Y S4Y SO :]

cG: I THINK YOU COULD'VE DONE BETTER. YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO HEAR ME SAY THAT, RIGHT? THIS WHOLE FUCKING GAME. "YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING I CAN, AND BETTER." THERE. HAPPY?

gC: OH SHUT UP!

Silence. You both just stand there. Man has it been a long couple of weeks. You decide it is time for one last act of bravery.

You hold your arms out for her.

She laughs, and simply pats you on the head instead. You are practically overheated with embarrassment. She pauses, as if contemplating something, when a hush seems to come over the party.

You look around at what has caught the others' attention. Your lotus has ascended into the Incipisphere, an endless sea of black now around you. It ceases moving in front of a large metal platform, with a hypnotizing blue door in the shape of the Sgrub logo before you.

The twelve of you step onto the platform. Aradia comments that this is the entryway to the universe you created.

This is your prize, just before you.

Once again, the group miraculously parts for you. Their fixed gaze, captured by the door, is broken to look to you.

You are their leader. They will follow only you.

You will receive their prize. You will usher them to paradise, to salvation. You feel a stirring deep within you, as if history had prepared you for this moment. Has this always been your destiny?

The door beckons you toward it, and you find yourself standing before it. You don't remember walking, but you don't even care. You gaze into the doorknob, mesmerized by its depth. It feels like there is a whole world simply within knob, pulsing with life.

Your friends look on in anticipation. There is undeniable desire in their eyes, although you do not look up to see it. Their minds, their essence, seem to pour out into you. Your arm moves itself.

Friendship.

Victory.

Paradise.

You reach out...

There is a loud sound. You will never know if your body froze or if it kept lurching forward, wishing to fall into the door.

There is a shout. You do not know whose.

Suddenly the world seems to spin, and you are swept off your feet. You are pulled away from the door, away from the light, away from the warm beckoning. For a brief moment you feel a strange joy in flight, but in the next you are jerked backwards violently. You see a swirl of your friends' bodies and then blackness.

Your body smashes onto a cold, metal floor. You hear loud thuds all around you.

For a moment, there is silence. You still feel as if you and your companions are one. Linked together in body and spirit, sharing a single experience and emotion.

Your head swirls with confusion.

Is this paradise? you all ask without speaking.

A different emotion seeps in.

No.

You have failed.

Your entire being, unified, is struck with pure anguish. A moment, a sinking feeling, darker than you have ever experienced.

This is not paradise.

You have failed.


	3. Chapter 3

That was more than an hour ago and the impact still has not left you. You just stay as you are, pushing your nose up against the steel tiles of the lab.

You left your team's trademark chaos behind, in the computer room. It was a mess. Some were crying, some were yelling, and a select few were actually looking for solutions. There was one thing that everyone was doing without exception, and that was throwing their junk all over the place. Despite the threat of a potential unknown enemy, it was hard to believe your weapons and accessories were anything beyond useless.

Even though you were still reeling with emotion, dozens of conflicting and upsetting ones, you at least attempted to address your team. It was useless. Nobody listened to your speeches. You even stood up on the desk and everything. There goes any attempt to calm, comfort, or rally them.

And to think that just a day or so ago you had just become the well-oiled-machine that was necessary to complete a session of Sgrub. The team worked together, utilizing the strengths and inventories of every player, obliterating the Denizens, the Black army, and anyone who stood in your path. And you were the leader of it all.

How quickly things fall apart.

You hear footsteps, the sound bouncing through the hollowed halls. You groan, not hoping for company. Waiting for some whiney complaint or sharp insult, you lay there.

Instead, a sigh.

gA: Are You Finally Going To Take That Hard-Earned Nap

You look up. Kanaya. You swiftly hoist yourself up, but remain in a sitting position as if that was your plan anyway. You lean up against the wall, putting on an air of confidence and collection.

cG: WHAT? NO. NO NAPS HERE. WHO CAN SLEEP NOW AT ALL TIMES?

gA: Why Not

gA: It Seems As Though We Have Escaped Our Aggressor

gA: For The Time Being

cG: I GUESS.

cG: BUT STILL

cG: THERE'S NO TIME FOR JUST LAYING AROUND. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

cG: IF YOU NEED TO REST, GO RIGHT AHEAD. I'VE GOT A FORT TO HOLD DOWN HERE, REMEMBER?

gA: I Do

She looks at you. Not just towards you…into your eyes. It feels like she's speaking TO you, not just AT you. That's more than you can say about most of your teammates during this game.

There's a brief silence while you are at a loss for a response. Now she is sitting next to you. She simply smiles, with a subtle look of worry in her eyes. You cannot tell if it is worry for their situation, or worry for you.

cG: DO YOU FINALLY BELIEVE ME NOW?

cG: I'M FUCKING CURSED.

cG: THE SECOND I JOINED THE SESSION IT WAS ALL DOOMED TO FAIL.

gA: There Is No Such Thing As Curses

gA: They Are As Fake As Magic

cG: WHAT? MAGIC?

gA: Nevermind

gA: Just Another Memo Thing

gA: It Seems That You Are Not Up To That Point On Our Conversational Timeline Yet

cG: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Kanaya shakes her head, and waves the topic away. Considering how pointless it is, you let her.

cG: WHATEVER. EITHER WAY

cG: I FUCKED UP. YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.

gA: Denying That Is Precisely What I Am Doing

gA: As We Speak

cG: WE WERE *THIS* FUCKING CLOSE TO THE BEST VACATION A TROLL COULD ASK FOR. FOR ALL OF US.

gA: We Do Not Know What Is Preventing Us Yet

gA: And While I May Not Be The Expert

gA: I Have No Reason To Believe It Is Your Fault

cG: GEE, THANKS. BUT STILL…

cG: I'M NOT EXACTLY THE GREATEST LEADER ON ALTERNIA, YOU KNOW.

cG: TRUST ME, I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS.

cG: TEREZI WAS ON MY BACK ABOUT IT THE WHOLE GAME.

gA: You Know How She Can Be

gA: If My Opinion Means Anything I Think You Were A Great Leader

cG: PLEASE, DON'T START PITYING ME NOW. I DON'T THINK I'M IN THE MOOD FOR IT…

gA: This Is Not Pity

gA: This Is Genuine Appreciation

All the while she has not broken eye contact with you. Her eyes are attentive and focused, honed in on you. You can't help but feel that yours have been darting around throughout the conversation.

gA: Think About Our Planet Karkat

gA: Our Whole Species

gA: Many Of The More Successful

gA: Leaders

gA: Are Highbloods

cG: DUH

gA: Yes

gA: Duh Is The Right Meaningless Response For That Statement

gA: Because Indigos Violets And The Empress All Rule Through Fear

gA: They Torture Or Cull Their Underlings By The Thousands

gA: Obviously They Are Going To Find The Obedience They Demand

cG: I KNOW, I KNOW

cG: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOUGHER.

cG: IF I WAS EVEN THE LEAST BIT INTIMIDATING, I COULD HAVE WHIPPED THE SLACKERS INTO SHAPE. WE COULD HAVE COMPLETED THE GAME EVEN SOONER, WITH LESS ROOM FOR MISTAKES.

gA: No I Don't Think So

gA: On The Contrary I Think It Is Your Ability To Lead Through Respect Instead Of Fear That Makes You Admirable

You blink, having to process the words twice. At first the idea of you commanding respect over the likes of your co-players is ridiculous.

But then you remember the aftermath of the final battle. Their nods, their approval.

gA: Have You Paid Any Attention To The World Around Us

gA: We Are An Uncontrollable Bunch

gA: Sometimes I Think Trolls Are Savages

gA: But When I See You I Reconsider That

Kanaya pauses for a moment, considering her next words.

gA: There Are Stories

gA: Legends I Suppose

gA: Of A Leader Many Sweeps In The Past

gA: I Have Studied Them

gA: Call Me Obsessed If You'd Like

cG: YOU'RE NOT OBSESSED. YOU'RE WISER THAN THE REST OF US. I GUESS I NEVER REALIZED HOW ALL THAT READING MIGHT PAY OFF.

gA: Yes Well About This Leader

gA: He Was Hated By The Highbloods

gA: Not Just For His Mutant Caste Or His Volatile Nature

gA: But Because He Spoke Of A Time When We Were Not Like This

gA: When We Were Different

gA: You Remind Me Of That

gA: I Think You Are Different

gA: Something More Than A Troll

gA: And When I See Our Team Under Your Guidance

gA: I Imagine That This Must Be What We Looked Like

gA: Before We Changed

At last, she closes her eyes, and takes a soothing breath. It seems that she got whatever she had to off her chest.

cG: UH

cG: THANK YOU. REALLY.

cG: BUT WE'RE STILL SHIT OUT OF LUCK. AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

gA: You'll Figure It Out

gA: Trust Me

gA: Just Be Patient And The Answer Will Come To You Somehow

She smiled, as if reminded of a comforting thought.

gA: You Told Me That

gA: Or You Will At Some Point

cG: TIMEY WIMEY MEMO BULLSHIT?

gA: You Know How It Is

There's a very brief silence, and you begin to worry that the conversation is over. Hurriedly, you prolong it.

cG: I…I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

cG: MAYBE I SHOULD LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE LEAD?

cG: LIKE YOU! OR TEREZI. OR MAYBE ARADIA.

gA: One Of Your Best Attributes Is Intuition

gA: A Great Leader Always Knows When And What To Delegate

gA: But You Do Not Need To Give Up Anything

gA: Keep Being Yourself

gA: Aradia Is Doing Her Own Thing As Usual But Terezi And Sollux Seem To Be Looking For Answers

gA: You Should Listen To Them

cG: FINE. BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE FEARLESS WARRIOR.

cG: THE BLOODTHIRSTY KNIGHT, THROWING MYSELF FIRST ONTO THE BATTLEFIELD TO PAVE THE WAY.

cG: NOW WE'RE COOPED UP ON THIS ROCK AND NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE.

gA: Like I Said It Will Work Out

gA: Your Job Is To Look Out For Your Friends

gA: And To Order Us To Stop Being Stupid

She stands up, apparently ready to leave you to your devices. Like a desperate fool, you once again try to delay her.

cG: KANAYA.

cG: UH…THANK YOU.

gA: …

cG: SOMETIMES I LOOK AROUND AT THE REST OF YOU…

cG: SPOOKY KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THINGS PARADOX SPACE, PRODIGIOUS HACKING SKILLS, SEEMINGLY ALL-KNOWING STRATEGIES, GAME-BREAKING GOD TIER POWERS.

cG: I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT STUFF.

gA: Stop

gA: Don't Say Any More

cG: FINE. BUT…

cG: HOW CAN I REPAY YOU?

gA: You Don't

gA: Don't Feel The Need To Treat Me Any Differently

gA: That's All I Ask

gA: Just Keep Doing What You Do

gA: Give Me Orders And Keep Us Busy

She began to step away, determined to not let you cling to her. She was going to return to the computer room and mix back in with the crowd. Nobody would know about this conversation. You sense that she was going to pretend it never happened.

gA: I Have This Feeling That Our Battle Is Far From Over

gA: And It Is True That We Have Some Impressive Friends

gA: And Truer That We Will Probably Run Into Something Beyond Your Power

gA: But It Doesn't Matter

gA: We Won't Forget About How You United Us

gA: After All

gA: You're Our Leader


End file.
